(Writer: Paul Gettens / Artist: Unknown)
Originally running in 1976/77, but also attracting a fresh audience via its reprint in the 1982 Roy of the Rovers annual, Millionaire Villa (also sometimes styled Mi££ionaire Villa) was the story of David Bradley, a bored millionaire who decides to try and buy a starting place on his local First Division team. Brilliantly, they agree (and why oh why didn’t Sheikh Mansour have a similar stipulation upon buying Man City?)
In his first game he manages to score at both ends in a 1-1 draw. In his second, having inadvertently given the rest of the squad sea-sickness by taking them out on a boat trip beforehand, he somehow muddles his way to the clumsiest hat-trick of all time. Oh, and after the club spend most of “his” money on a new star striker, he manages to accidentally break the guy’s leg in training.
He’s still probably a better signing than Aly Cissokho, though.